The New York Times published this article discussing the frustration of parents dealing with feigned incompetence in their children. We each struggle with this challenge with our own children, but at boarding school we have the unique opportunity of serving as in loco parentis to 360 Proctor students who are not immune to this phenomenon either.
I have spent this week in Texas – Austin, Houston, and Dallas. When skipping from one city to the next, meeting different Proctor families to talk about the school and capital campaign initiatives, time breaks down into blocks. And then there are the spaces in between when I pull out my iPhone to fill the small moments with small news: political updates, emails, sports scores, text messages. This week I have looked to change the habits of these micro moments with a copy The Best American Short Stories of 2015. Something more than a news feed, the collection has proved useful.
Last week, we published a post on the need to practice social courage in our day-to-day lives. As we unpack this complicated concept of social courage, the notion of helping establish boundaries for our students becomes increasingly important. Students may dislike the boundaries adults impose in their lives, but deep down inside, they know they need them. Our role as educators and parents is to help them understand why.
Proctor’s long-winter weekend, or Bonus Weekend, has arrived. It marks the midway point between Winter Break and Spring Break, and provides a much needed respite for all in the community. While we’ve enjoyed one of the nicest weeks of January weather any of us can remember, the winter remains a long, exhausting term. Despite these challenges, our goal is to embrace all the Winter Term has to offer, rather than feel like we are just ‘getting through it’. In order to ensure this mindset lasts, we need occasional encouragement.
Last week, I talked in assembly about being in the White Mountains, years ago, with a group of students during a brutal March storm when the temperature swung from the upper 20’s to 15 below zero. The winds screamed at the base of Carrigan, snapped tarps, drove snow everywhere, and buried gear. I talked about the necessary skills to be comfortable – relatively – in such an environment, and the people in my life who had made a difference, forged a connection, inspired a love of wilderness, and imparted those skills. I talked about former teachers, old Outward Bound and NOLS instructors, listing some of the adults who guided me towards wisdom and helped me with skills.
Usually the most valuable conversations are the most difficult ones. When Cindy Pierce visited Proctor Academy’s campus Tuesday, an anticipation of discomfort and curiosity preceded her separate conversations with students and faculty, which meant we knew this meant it would be time well spent! As Pierce noted at the beginning of her conversation, “In order to get to the other side of awkward, you have to wade through awkward soup.”
It’s not easy standing up in front of your classmates in an American Literature class to deliver a speech, but when you are chosen by your peers to speak in front of the whole community and be judged on your performance? That’s a whole different matter. That takes courage to push through as legs shake and stomachs lurch. I could have no more delivered a speech like the Hays than run a four-minute mile when I was sophomore.
Each year on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, Proctor foregoes a regular class schedule, instead celebrating the work of Dr. King and applying lessons learned from his teachings to our community. Monday’s programming was led by the D.I.V.E.R.S.I.T.Y committee, and proved to be a powerful experience as we reflected on the relationship between privilege and injustice in our society.
